I found myself sitting on the deck Sunday morning… a coffee in one hand, Bella on my lap, Bandit at my feet.  The sun glistened over Pikes Peak in the distance while my 3 children played on the slide in our yard – Collin at the top with Emerson, Bradley at the bottom with his arms stretched towards her.  Giggles and grins abound.  Jim, high on a ladder with a paint brush in one hand & a bucket of stain in the other, was giving our tired, sun soaked play set a little face-lift.  I sat peacefully & watched it all… what a beautiful site.  I can honestly say THESE are the best days of my life – this past weekend, today.  THIS is it.  I’ve gained a few pounds over the past several years… many grey hairs & more than a few wrinkles, but they’ve been well earned.  I may not look the same as I did when this all started, not as young and certainly not as beautiful… but my spirit has never been better… my love and appreciation for life has never been stronger.  Don’t get me wrong – there are no fairies fluttering through our garden.  Two minutes later the boys were fighting – “push her NOW”, “let’s swing”, “come ooooonnnnnn”, “STOOOPPPP”… if you have children, you know the drill.  Nope life isn’t perfect, but it’s LIFE & I am loving every minute of it!

I don’t know how much longer we have with Emerson… I fear that should something happen to her the joy I felt this weekend will be lost to us forever.  I am continually reminded how quickly things can change in the transplant world – in a split second, when you’re least expecting it.  I know that ‘healthy’ today means only that – ‘healthy’ TODAY.  Indeed I don’t know what tomorrow will bring.  None of us do.  Will Emerson outlive me?  Will this last forever?  Probably not.  I’m not thinking about that today, though.  For today I’m only thinking about TODAY.

As I was driving to the grocery store Sunday afternoon a song came across the radio:

“I have been blessed. And I feel like I’ve found my way. I thank God for all I’ve been given at the end of every day. I have been blessed. With so much more than I deserve. To be here with the ones that love me. To love them so much it hurts. I have been blessed”

~ Blessed by Martina McBride

I couldn’t have said it better myself!  Indeed, I have been blessedJ.

Emerson had an appointment at Denver Children’s Hospital yesterday & we meet with the local pediatrician this afternoon.  In great news, she came home last night!!  It may have been the first time Eme’s ever been to TCH & avoided an admission!  At the end of the appointment the doctor said he was going to be very bold & schedule her next appointment out 3… months I said?!?!??  Are you crazy, he replied?  Nope… 3 weeks!  Wishful thinkingJ!  If she can actually make it 3 weeks, though, it would be a first!!  They’re referring her to the rehab clinic to address recent problems with her feet & ankles.  She was up several times last night crying in pain.  I have meetings scheduled with the local elementary school next week & if all goes as planned, Emerson will start pre-K Monday, September 13th.  WOW… hard to believe! 

Check back later for more updates from all the appointments this week…